a cry day...

Maybe this is too much information or just too personal, but it was such a moment of gratitude that I thought I should share.  Abe and I have been trying for baby #2 for a year now.  I got pregnant with Noah within a few weeks of deciding we should try for a baby, so I'm quite sure I developed some seriously unrealistic expectations when it comes to conceiving.  And I realize that a year isn't much in the grand scheme of things, especially when I have sisters who've suffered far more in the journey to mommy-hood than me.

However, I still feel I'm entitled to a day of tears on the twelfth month of no baby in my belly.  So I had a cry day.  I held back until Della (my niece I watch during the day) went home so as not to scare her, and Abe was working late.  So I let loose.  I broke down and cried and cried and cried.

Then.... my sweet Noah climbed into my lap and laid his head on my chest and snuggled me.  So I cried more.  Then he took my face in his sweaty little hands, pinched my cheeks, wiped my tears, moved my hair gently out of my eyes, kissed my mouth and hugged me while patting my back.  I sobbed while my little toddler comforted me.

So I ask, is this normal for a 2 year old?  No, no... don't tell me.  Because even if it is, I know my Noah truly has the biggest heart.  Even amidst the tantrums, he is always such a sweet and loving little boy.

In comes the gratitude:  I'm in no way giving up on my dream of a house full of kids after only a year of trying for #2, but....  I can safely say that if God only sends one little spirit my way, he sent the most precious soul I could ever ask for.  And so my tears change to those of humbling gratitude.  I am truly so blessed.